Do You Know When A Relationship Should End - Tell Tale Signs
Posted: Monday, July 13, 2009
by Susan Lancaster
Lovestruck
Ending a relationship is always difficult especially when you are still deep down in love with the
The situations when you HAVE to leave someone are different because you have to leave for you not because someone tells you too.
1)No TRUST- trust and communication are the basics to everyone's relationships, even friendships but if you cannot trust your partner then you do not have a relationship - you have a disaster waiting to happen.
If they are repeatedly cheating on you and you cannot trust them in a situation where they are out by themselves then you must finish the relationship because the other person has no respect for you and is also putting you at risk with STI's.
You may also be continuously paranoid, in which case you need to work on yourself and giving yourself space will help, so take a break anyway.
Give yourself time to heal maybe your partner cheated once and you cannot forgive them but if you can't, stop checking their phone or email behind their back, its quite simple - you don't trust them. A few weeks break should give you some perspective and you should know if you can continue with the relationship, or arrange counselling when you get back. Either way if they are cheating or you're paranoid then the chances are you will be arguing all the time and it will be a really unhealthy relationship to be in, especially if there are children involved.
2)No RESPECT- If you have been hit, pushed or attacked by your partner, especially if you have children in the house you MUST leave for your safety. In a situation where a stressed out couple have had a few pushes between them, it is not the same as one person continuously being the aggressor of violent within a household. Someone who is physically violent towards their partner or their children needs to be given space before they do something serious and if you are living in these conditions you must seek help. Telling a family member who will be able to support you while the aggressor can get some anger management counselling is a start. This will do more then heal a relationship as the aggressor may have many deep issue from their past. You must separate for protection initially until the person gets regular help and their therapists agree they should try and have contact. Make it clear to your partner why you are leaving, if you cannot face the conflict then leave while they are out and write a letter confronting their behaviour with the contact details of where to get help.
3)Substance Abuse- This can come under both of the categories above because anyone who loves drugs or alcohol more than you will just continue until they get help, so again, leave them until they have the support in place they need.
It is never easy to make this decision but there are situations when leaving your partner is the right thing to do, because staying with them is saying that you accept this behaviour and if you have any self respect then you cannot live with someone or have a relationship with someone who would abuse themselves or you.
The other thing to remember is staying in an unhappy or potentially dangerous relationship also blocks the way for any other person you could actually be happy with, which is just stopping you from being happy. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want you?
Susan is a relationship expert who advises couples and singles in the online dating world. Susan works for Lovestruck who let you search and meet singles who live nearby. If you live in the UK then why not try London dating websites and meet professionals, for a date at lunchtime or after work!
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